What Reading Romance Novels Taught Me

What Reading Romance Novels Taught Me. 💕

The first romance novel I read was Fifty Shades of Grey.

Prior I never picked one up. I never even thought about it.

I have a degree in English & read everything under the sun. I wrote my thesis on Native American literature. Yet, I never picked up a romance novel.

Until one day that changed.

While working at our local NBC affiliate, we did a few stories on the book sales & the book being banned from libraries.

I was insanely curious!

So … I secretly bought the trilogy on my Kindle.

After writing news stories all day about murder, rape, corruption and scandal — fiction helped me to relax.

Those three novels turned into thousands later. After I finished one book I’d instantly replace it.

Here’s some things I noticed about myself along the way …

 I am more open to affection

Not that I was an Ice Queen before but I was never a touchy-feely person.

I wasn’t the first to go in for a hug (this counts for friends too). I didn’t want to walk and hold hands. I thought that just wasn’t for me.

Physical touch would have never made it high in my 5 Love Languages results.

But …. I kept reading about couples showing loving affection to one another (not in terms of sex but day-to-day things like holding hands, embraces, cuddles, touches) & it became such a regular part of my reading that it trickled into my life without being awkward.

 It’s easier for me to speak praise

My mom is really great about speaking words of affirmation to me and my siblings. We were always told we were smart, beautiful, doing a good job.

I think she built my self esteem up that I don’t need others to constantly praise me.

However, it’s very nice to lift your partner up with your words.

I wasn’t the best at this. I didn’t do it frequently so it felt … foreign. 

(Again, I promise I’m not an Ice Queen. 😹 )

If I pay you a compliment, I really really really mean it.

Reading beautiful dialogues between couples — whether during pivotal moments or in their daily lives / flirting – I was picking up on the importance that *our words* have.

3️⃣ Respecting your significant other

Yes, I know that novels can be picked apart & ridiculed all day long because they aren’t “real life” or that it’s “unrealistic expectations blah blah” … but let’s remember they are FICTION.

MAKE BELIEVE.

I do not need you to remind me that this isn’t what actual love is like. 😉

No, I wouldn’t fall in love with the man who kidnapped me. Billionaires aren’t lurking around the corners. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

With all the fantasy aside, the sub-genres within romance that I personally read (& write!) always deal with two people who respect one another.

Two people coming together to form a TEAM.
To become BEST FRIENDS.
To NOT settle for less.
The person they can COUNT ON.
A person worth FIGHTING FOR.

Yes, there are ups and downs to keep you reading along the way 😉 but you’d put the book down if there was zero mystery.

I’m sure I can go on and on and on if I think harder. 🤓

I just wanted to share a few things about the novels I love to both read + write.

If YOU have learned anything about yourself or in general while reading romance novels, I’d love to hear from you!